


Plans, Science and Sexual Frustration

by swordPrincess



Series: Labstuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Labstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-16 07:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordPrincess/pseuds/swordPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade goes through measures to get Dave alone to discuss plans.</p>
<p><i>“We aren’t going to make out, are we?”</i><br/>-<br/>labstuck.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plans, Science and Sexual Frustration

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place in 2012.
> 
> Once again, see the Labstuck tumblr for up-to-date fics, info, and if you want to ask the characters questions.

"Dave!" Jade greeted the lanky teenager standing just outside her doorframe with open arms and a wide grin. He was flanked by three members of security. That was...expected. Sadly.

"Hey Jade," Dave responded back casually, as if being surrounded by armed guards was no big deal. "Can I come in?"

"Of course!" Jade stepped back and to the side so that she was no longer blocking the entryway. She gave him a hug the moment he was completely inside, then she felt his arms around her just a few moments later.

The guards moved to come inside a bit and Jade glared at them with a slight pout. "We wanna make out," she told them bluntly.

Two of them fidgeted somewhat uncomfortably. The other one stated, "We are supposed to stay with Mr. Strider."

Jade felt Dave tense up a bit. She pulled him closer to her. "You can stay outside the door. He isn't going to escape from my room."

The little security team seemed to finally accept this and allowed the teens some manner of privacy. They shut the door. Jade pulled herself so close to Dave that she could feel the heat coming off his skin. Then she suddenly pulled away and walked farther into the area of the large room she called home.

Dave just stood in place for a moment before finally turning to follow her. "We aren't going to make out, are we?" he asked her.

"No, we are not," Jade confirmed.

"So what's so secret hush-hush then?" Dave collapsed into one of her low chairs. His increasingly long limbs looked somewhat funny draped over the sides. "Escape plans?" There wasn't much hope in his voice, but he asked it anyway.

"Dave," Jade's voice was slightly scolding. "We've talked about this a ton of times. Other than that it won't work and it's the reason I need to go to such measures just to talk to you privately, do I really need to repeat the whole speech about how dangerous it is?"

"No, no, I totally got this one," Dave cleared his throat dramatically. "If you actually managed to get out, what would you even do, Dave? You have nowhere to go. You have no money. You have no identity, no papers, no birth certificate. And no..." He trailed off. "I'm forgetting something."

"And no belly button," Jade concluded for him.

"Right," Dave said and sat up and then forward, leaning his arms over his legs. "Because not having a belly button is totally my number one concern here. Because I just can't keep from flashing my sexy smooth midsection at everyone." He sat up again and moved one of his hands to pull his shirt up to his chest. "Hey y'all gather round and look at my total lack of a scar in my abdomen. Holy fuck. There is totally no way I can avoid this scenario. I'm naturally compelled to show everyone I meet my totally cool sexy smoothness. I know you regular humans are just so jelly. But that's good. I feed off your jealousy like some sort of jealousy vampire."

Jade sat down at the edge of her bed, her head in her hands, trying to hold back her laughter and shaking from the effort. It took her some time to calm herself down enough to speak seriously. "Okay, I know. But with all the other points, it still stands as a significant problem. It's something someone can tell is not right without having to run your DNA. And if they get suspicious enough to do that...well...try escaping from the FBI."

Dave oddly perked up. "Is our genome really that different from a normal human's? Have you seen it?" He got up and loomed over her, his hands resting on her bed. She leaned back somewhat.

"Yes," she stated simply.

Dave's face went through an odd and rare transformation: his lips curled up into a sort of lopsided wicked grin. Jade wished she could see his eyes when he did this, but his shades were far too reflective.

"Watch out, cool kid," she warned, "your mad science face is showing."

The grin quickly dropped and Dave stood up again, shoving his hands in his pockets. "No, but seriously Jade, show me the goods. Give me the details. Tell me everything. This is some prime shit we have here."

"Not now," Jade dismissed him and stood up to go to her computer.

"What do you mean, 'not now'?" Dave complained. "You can't just give me a gigantic science boner and then hold out on me. It's even worse than before with your total lack of making out with me after getting so close to my face. Hella rude. It's like you are breaking the science bro code."

"Do you want to make out with me, Dave?" she asked him with a grin.

He pointed at her. "You are changing the subject."

"It's an easy cover up," she continued on anyway. "It's all too easy to make them believe we'd want that sort of relationship. We are at the age where hormones are flying everywhere. And in a heteronormative society, you'd be considered my only option."

"Seriously? Heteronormative?" Dave frowned. "That is such a Rose word. ...Actually that entire group of sentences was suspiciously Rose-like." The frown deepened.

"That's because that was pretty much exactly how she phrased it when she suggested this plan to me, so I could talk with you privately," Jade explained with a grin.

"Goddammit." It was a grimace now. "She lives her life to plague me. Also, what a way to make a guy feel wanted. 'You are my only option.' Fucking swoon. Right to the heart, right there."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave," Jade dragged out. "Stop being silly. It's not even true. You aren't my only option. It's not like anyone really cares what gender we decide to kiss in here."

Dave was quiet. Jade waited for his pubescent male brain to process this information. "Hot," he finally said.

Jade rolled her eyes at him. "Pervert."

"What? I'm a guy. You just carelessly dangled the thought of lesbians out there. I'm just being honest about my opinion. Don't be hatin."

She snorted. "Well, John wouldn't have reacted like that."

"You think that just because he is your brother that he doesn't think perverted thoughts?"

"No, I think that the fact that he is my brother has nothing to do with it. After all, you don't think Rose is innocent because she's your sister, do you?"

"Hell no, but that's different," Dave declared. "Anyone could see that Rose is a pervert. She makes sexual jokes and flirts with everyone. With John, with you. Even with me, which she only does to piss me off."

"And it works," Jade pointed out. "Anyway Dave, I didn't have you come here to talk about who is or isn't a pervert. I wanted to talk about something important."

Dave let out a lungful of air and fell back into the chair. "Alright. Shoot."

"The plan is to break into alpha section," Jade explained. "I already outlined this to Rose and John, but I couldn't invite you then or I wouldn't be able to get security to leave. Sorry."

"Alright. Yeah. Whatever." Dave waved his hand in dismissal. "Okay so, alpha section. That's where your little penpal is from, right?"

"Yep! Jake," Jade confirmed. "He's been helping me with this. We've been analyzing different patterns so that we could find an opportunity to meet. And it turns out that our teachers both leave the classroom and leave us alone for about an hour to attend the same bianual meeting, which is..."

"Next week," Dave finished for her. "Okay so I'm guessing that's when this all goes down. However, just because the teacher leaves, that doesn't decrease security, does it? Also the doors to the classroom auto-lock when they shut. And we don't have the key. Unless you are planning on stealing it."

"Nope! No stealing will be neccessary," Jade reassured. "Jake and I are going to hold the doors open for the teachers like the good children we are." She grinned mischievously. "And we will stick this," she held up a small piece of metal, "into the door so it won't lock properly."

"Okay, but what about security?" Dave repeated the first point.

"Have you ever seen security at the back door Ms. Blake goes out of?" Jade questioned him.

He paused for a moment in reflection. "...No. Why though?"

"Jake and I have pooled our knowledge over the years. We've shared everything back and forth about what we know about the layout of our respective sections. Where the turns are. Where the windows are. Where things are with respect to the quads and respect to the outside. Between the two classrooms is nothing but the central offices. The only way out would be through them. There is no escape from those doors," she proclaimed.

"Holy shit."

"But we're not trying to escape," Jade continued. "They don't expect us to try to break into the other section."

"Okay. Cool. One more question. What do we get out of this?"

"We get to meet the other kids!" Jades hands made excited fists.

"Alright, whoa, hold the train. Who exactly are these people?" Dave's eyebrows knit above his shades.

"Well, there's Jake. He reminds me a lot of my grandfather, so I wouldn't be surprised at all if he was some sort of genetic replica."

Dave put a hand to one side of his forehead. "It's sad that my life is this fucked up place where that is actually highly plausible. It's creepy though. I mean, you said he is like our age, right?"

"Right," Jade confirmed.

"And your grandfather died when you were like, eight. So that means this kid and your grandfather were alive at the same time for eight years. That's fucked up."

"I guess. Anyway, when I talked with John and Rose about this, Rose thought that the other kids in alpha section were probably our other genetic relations."

Dave froze. His mouth made a straight line. The color seemed to drain from his face. "Well then. You know what? Why don't we just stop the train altogether. Fuck this shit. Plans cancelled."

"Dave?" Jade questioned him. "What the fuck?"

"That would mean there's some genetic copy of my bro over there?" His expression remained the same. Jade began to seriously worry.

"It's quite possible. He'd be another kid like us. You don't want to meet him?"

"Hell no!" Dave said forcefully. He stood up again. Jade rose herself from her own seat to face him then took his hand and brushed her thumb over the top of it.

Dave stared at their hands and said nothing. Jade pulled him close to her and went up on her tip toes to whisper as close to his ear as she could. "For science?"

Dave pulled himself away from her. "I'm sorry Jade, you insulted mad science face. It won't come back unless you give it an apology. Hand written. A few pages explaining what you did wrong and how terribly sorry you are. Also some grovelling. Definitely grovelling. I mean seriously. How could you hold out on me? What if I had some really choice physics shit that I refused to tell you? How would you feel then? That's what you get your massive science girl boners for, right?"

She sighed and gave him a Look then pulled him back toward her. "Please come with us?" She pouted a bit.

"Fine. Maybe." He turned his head away from her direction, but didn't pull back away.

"Alright." She had said all she had meant to say. It was probably best that she shuffled Dave back out to the guards again before they got too terribly suspicious. "Oh, one more thing." She reached up to pull her hands through Dave's feathery strawberry-blond hair and then ruffled the top of it. Next she worked on her own black locks.

Dave sent her a questioning expression.

"We were supposed to have been making out," Jade explained with 'duh' in her voice. Her eyes went soft and she grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to kiss the side of his lips. Then she moved over to kiss the side of his neck.

She felt a shiver go through him and smiled.

She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, all the loving softness that had been there a moment before was pretty much gone. She pushed him toward the door.

"Okay, we're done!" she announced to the guards gleefully as she opened it up and shoved him out. "Bye Dave! See you later!"

Dave's expression was baffled as she shut the door back on him. She collapsed on her bed and sighed.

Dave was always so complicated to deal with.


End file.
